Why is He With Her

 Another Related Article: What Men Want

  Daniel JohnsonWritten by: Daniel Johnson


What men secretly want  Perhaps there has been this guy that you have had your eyes fixed on for some time but instead of reciprocating your interest in him, he has his attention fixed on someone else and you begin to wonder why is he with her and not you. Or perhaps you like a guy only to find out he has a girlfriend already. What bothers you about the situation is that you think they are a wrong match for each other.


It could well be that it is a case of your boyfriend running after another lady and just doesn't seem to have any affection for you any more causing you to wonder where you got it all wrong. It is therefore important for you to find the reasons why is he with her and not you so that you can then be able to determine what steps to take to get him back.


Why is he with her situation #1

If the situation is where he likes someone else it means there are things that are attractive about her that may or may not be true. During a crush, it’s very common to


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see things in a person that really aren’t there. You need to step into his shoes and ask why is he with her. Is she a nurse? Maybe she comes off as caring and loving when she takes care of people. Try personifying those qualities you believe he sees in her to get his eyes on you. It could be possible that you’ve been portrayed in a lesser light than her, maybe because he only sees you during work where things are serious and boring. Getting time with him away from this situation would be a good step here.  


If you're wondering why is he with her, you need to remember that when they spend time together there are things that you don’t see. It could be a chemistry they share together or their banter or humor that other people don’t get. Perhaps they feel comfortable with each other and talk about deeper things in which they feel completely safe in one another. Where on the outside you may only see something shallow, memories like these can form a strong and deeper bond. Another possibility why you don’t see why they’re a good match is that they behave differently alone than when they do in the company of others.   He could be more attracted to other qualities in a woman than what most people are normally attracted to, leaving other people wondering why he’s attracted to her. There is also a chance that the person he’s with reminds him of an ex, or he has a fetish towards a characteristic of hers. Maybe they’ve spent so much time together they can’t see their lives without each other.



Situation #2

In the case where you already have a guy and he doesn't appear to have as much love for you as he used to, and he has even started seeing another lady. If you are wondering why is he with her, it is a possibility that what he desires in her is something that you couldn't do. When there were some things that you did in the past which he liked, but you have suddenly stopped doing, it shouldn't be surprising to you if his love for you starts to fade in his heart. He might have complained to you about those things once or twice before and if it appears that you are not ready to turn a new leaf, he will waste no time to take a walk for another lady that still has those qualities. Where you have an advantage is in the memories you’ve collected. Try mimicking the past where interesting dates and quality time was spent together. Stir up the flame you shared and remind him of the life you’ve built together.


Maybe because your relationship has become more serious, more serious issues have come up. He misses the beginning stages of a relationship which were fun and care free so he goes out looking for that. So really it may not be an issue with you, but with the maturity of the relationships he’s turning from. In his mind things are moving too fast for him. This could call for a slower pace in the relationship. Keep things simpler, spend more time in the shallow end for a while.


One more thing that could explain why is he with her is your attitude when it comes to long term commitment scares him. Maybe you have been the kind of person that has constantly been singing into his ears how eager you are to settle down with or get married to him. Such an action is capable of daunting him and, before you know what is happening, he starts to back off. It could be that the other lady that he has started seeing is in no such hurry to settle down, unlike you. We are talking about emotions and finances here; if he does not feel ready, both emotionally and financially, for a commitment, he pulls back.


A man could also be turned away from you if he gets the impression that his relationship with you is not in any way assured. He tends to become uncomfortable with the relationship once he finds out that you are indifferent toward a serious relationship. Once he is able to find someone that fits his criteria for the perfect lady, he might not even blink an eye before moving on to the next one.


If you are still wondering why is he with her, you should first of all check your attitude. Tell you what? Most real men do not restrict what they want in ladies to just the physical appearance and so will rarely leave their partners for another just because of their physical attractiveness. Your inner beauty or conduct is what most men place more emphasis on.



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