Pushing Him Away?

 Another Related Article: What Men Want

Amy RosenthalWritten by: Amy Rosenthal


woman wondering what men secretly wantMaybe you've been through several failed relationships in the past and you're starting to wonder if you are unintentionally pushing him away. There are certain actions or words that can be attributed to you in which men feel uncomfortable, thereby causing them to scamper away. It is therefore important to know the things done that can be pushing him away.



Creating drama


Are you the kind of girl that’s always fighting with friends? Are you always gossiping? Do you make situations more troublesome than they should be? In his mind you create a lot of drama, and this can be pushing him away. You handle situations poorly, and cause them to be a lot more troublesome than what they should be. Men don’t like this. They like things simple in life, and therefore run for the hills.


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How you treat others


How people treat others is possibly the greatest mark on a person’s character. What men look for in a wife is someone who is caring and loving. Regardless of how you treat him, if you’re constantly bad mouthing your friends or mistreating other people in ways, you’re not going to come off as loving. This can unknowingly pull his opinion of you down. He may be thinking that down the road when you’ve been together for a while you’ll begin to treat him like that. You’re also not going to resemble a wife he would want. This could be pushing him away when instead you could be reeling him in.





Men value respect more than love. Even if you’re giving him a ton of love in the relationship without respect, it can cause a distance between the two of you and can be pushing him away. Watch out for things like swearing at him and poorly chosen words during arguments. Mostly, your attitude or tone can communicate a lack of respect

as well as your opinion of him shared with others.



Spending habits


He instinctively has the mentality of a provider. One of his greatest fears is in not being able to provide for his family. If your spending habits are high, it’s going to increase that fear because his task of providing is going to be seen as harder. Men don’t like this kind of pressure, and you could be pushing him away.



Clinging to him


Counter intuitively in order to get closer to him, sometimes you need to give him some space. If you’re always; with him, phoning him when he’s out with the guys, checking his phone, not giving him space but clinging to him, you could actually be pushing him away. Men will  subconsciously pull away in order to get the space they need. Find out why he pulls awayhere.



Coming off as desperate


Through your speech, or actions, coming off as desperate makes men instinctively run. Perhaps they view you as the kind that won’t give them space if they got closer. It could be that they see you as a person with too much baggage and you'll never be normal. Or maybe your problems seem overwhelming to them. The point is that coming off as desperate can be pushing him away.



Wrong talk


The kind of questions you ask could send wrong signals to him. It's not good to be asking to know how much money he makes or if he has a car since that could give the impression that you are the materialistic type. Some men don't like women that will end up becoming liabilities for them. Instead, they want independent and self-sufficient women, and the materialistic type can be pushing them away.


One way by which you can scare men away is to subject your new boyfriend to the tale of all that happened between you and your ex while you were both still together. Your new guy really isn't interested in all the stories of what he did right and what he failed to do right, as well as all the nice times that you both had together. It just feels out of place for a man when you force him to hear all that. You could scare men away in such a case because they feel that you might tell someone about him in the future should things go wrong. Or that he still has some competition in your mind. If you must talk about your ex, let him be the one to ask and don't go into too extensive detail.


Watch out for wrong statements like; I have trouble trusting men because my ex cheated on me, or I’m not sure I want to get married. These words communicate a lack of intimacy and coldness he’s not looking for.



Moving too far too fast


Something that can be pushing him away is giving the impression that you are eagerly looking for lifetime commitment or marriage in your relationship too soon. Once you start talking about settling down and having kids, a man that isn't ready for such things yet will waste no time in finding the exit door. You should instead take it easy with your man when it comes to long-term commitment provided you are really sure that he loves you and is serious about you two being together.



Expectations are too high


Some women feel that it is the duty of their boyfriend to make them happy always. What they, however, failed to realize is that such belief could be pushing him away. You need to realize that your man has other things and businesses that he must attend to rather than just focusing on what to do to make you happy. Giving him the impression that you expect him to be superman is too stressful. Even if he is ready to do that, it is not an easy thing to do since it is not always that easy to make a person happy. It is the responsibility of each partner to see to his or her own happiness. Gone are those days when men are expected to be the one providing all the needs of their partners; these days, responsibilities have to be taken care of together.



Trying to change him


Pressuring him to be something he’s not? Men want to be accepted for who they are. When you try to change him, he feels you don’t love him the way he is. He also feels like you’re not in love with him, but that you’re in love with another man. The one he could be but isn't. Someone that you have in your mind that you’re trying to make him become. It's the not accepting him for who he is that can be pushing him away. The main point is acceptance and reassurance of who he is.




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