How to Get a Man to Love You

 Another Related Article: How to Connect with Him

Amy RosenthalWritten by: Amy Rosenthal


 couple holding each otherWell now you are making effort to win his  

heart. I’m not talking about getting his attention. But really standing out among the other women he has in his life. How to get a man to love you is actually not a hard thing at all, you just need to take the right steps.   Gone are those days when ladies have to sit back waiting for a man to make all the moves; that just doesn't seem to work on such a large scale any more. Here are some useful tips on how to get a man to love you and win his heart.  



Talk fun and connecting 


One great way to win his heart is to engage in connecting conversations with him. Everyone in this world is looking for someone to connect with. Someone who shares a special bond that is unique and rare. That’s what makes people choose partners who aren’t as rich, good-looking, intelligent as another choice would be. They share something special, they related to each other in their unique ways that nobody else does.



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How to get a man to love you is in the way you talk with him. A common mistake is in trying to keep the conversation intelligent. Remember that most people would be bored to death talking about the stock trends, or the latest political event, so only go there if he's the intelligent type. He’s probably more on the fun side, keep the conversation there.   Food, travelling, best friends, childhood memories. Everyone loves those topics and everyone has something to say about them. Focus on the passion, not the intelligent. The point is you need to connect with him on a deeper level. Talking about art might not, talking about his passion will. 


You could start the conversation by shifting the focus on him and allow him talk about himself. Try touching on certain aspects of him that you will love to know more about. Go to areas that excite the both of you first. Then if he’s really passionate about something that you’ve got no interest, say soccer, you don’t have to fake it. Connect his passions with you. Find out why he’s so passionate about it. Ask him if he had a special moment in life where he fell in love with it. Is it a fond childhood memory? Get him to teach you how to be passionate about soccer (if you’re willing to give it a shot). Connecting doesn’t have to mean sharing the same passions. It can be about understanding the why and the when of his passions. Either way he’s going to love talking about it, and you’re going to be known as the girl who listens to his life, this is how to get a man to love you.  


Connect his passions with him. If he loves soccer, compliment his shoulders on how masculine they look, say “I would have guessed that about you, you look like the soccer type”. If it’s reading, compliment on how he looks bright, like the kind of guy who reads. 


If he tries to be funny by cracking one or two jokes every once in a while, don’t act like a stone, try and laugh a little bit. Or at least give a big smile. That will give him the impression that you are enjoying the conversation. Also, give a compliment when he talks about certain achievement or quality of his in order to make him feel good and, before you realize it, you may be well on your way to win his heart. 



Understanding men 


Understanding him is perhaps the best way on how to get a man to love you. Why is it that every now and then you’ll see a couple together that in your mind just don’t match? Or you’ll hear news about 2 of your friends getting married, that when they first started dating you thought, really? Is it possible that men aren’t totally fixated on looks alone? Men do look at personality. Probably not at first, but eventually it does grows on them. Men are also looking for partners in life who “pair” well with them. It’s not something they’ll talk about much but it is something that happens on a subconscious level. Once the infatuation dies out it’s something they become more aware of. 


If you would rather be respected or loved in life which would it be? When asked this question mostly all women answered loved, but the majority of men answered respected. We focus more on giving them love, but if we focused a little on the respect area it would send a message to their subconscious that we do pair well together.  


Or why is he's so silent? Why doesn’t he respond when I ask how his day was? Was it something I said or did? Or even worse is he losing interest in me? Sometime the truth is that he just has nothing to say. Men aren’t as expressive and extroverted as we are. They internalize things first, both their thoughts and feelings. Then once they’ve thoroughly internalized them they can speak them out. Sometimes they just won’t need to express them at all. So nagging him and accusing him of being distant or cold can sometimes be unfair to him and hurtful to the relationship.  


He needs your acceptance. Unconditional acceptance. He pretended to be more charming than he really was on your first date. He hid his flaws on the next few. Nothing wrong with that, it’s how the dating process works. Just saying that for you to express your full acceptance would be like a refreshing drink after a 5 mile run.  


All men have an inherent fear of failure. Not being accepted for who he is only adds to that fear. But a woman who unconditionally accepts him makes him feel invincible, like he can’t fail in life. He’ll begin to see you as his soul mate and wonder where you were his whole life. 


The point is that we are different creatures and we do think and process things completely different from one another. The key is understanding this and understanding how men actually think.  Without understanding the nature of men, knowing how to get a man to love you can be difficult.  





Texting is a great way to interact with someone you’re interested in that comes off as casual. It’s very “low pressure” in terms of when and how they respond which is also to your benefit as well. Ask him how lunch was, or send him a photo of a cute dog you walked across that evening. Pretty soon you may find that your texting conversations go back and forth and become a helpful tool in connecting with him. To Learn how to get a man to love you by using text, click here.



Get in a Different League 


You’ve heard the saying,” their out of your league” before right? It usually has to do with looks, or class, or style. Well on a personality and connection level it can be true also. If you can stand out from all the other women he’s known, on that level, it can put you in a different league than them. This is done by being supportive of his dreams and goals, and making him feel great about himself. It’s hard to say exactly what to do, but it has to do with the way you see him in a positive/affirming way, and communicating that to him effectively. Men can be very isolated sometimes in the way they don’t communicate, and they can put on a strong face for show, but they still need support in their self-esteem. Don’t be deceived by the strong face he puts on, he still needs a boost every now and then. Making yourself the one who feeds his self-esteem will make you different in his mind from all the other women he’s known. Being in a different league is how to get a man to love you easily.



Getting great advice


Sometimes you’ll get advice from your friends, then years later your hear someone say something completely different. Ask your guy friends what made them attracted to their girl. Ask them how to get a man to love you.  Get the facts. I wouldn’t believe magazine advice so readily. And even advice from your girl friends without a grain of salt. If you hear it from a few different friends it’s probably good. But the best would be a professional relationship therapist. It doesn’t mean that you need to sign up for therapy, but it may mean you could use their advice from someone who’s taken their course, or even a book. Most people walk through life winging it, professionals study the art, and council hundreds of couples to realationship health. Hearing from them would be a lot better advice than just the average person. 



Smelling great


Ever had a stranger walk past you in the subway, and you instantly turned to look? Then you thought about him all day? Works more on the guys than on us. Scents are a lot more tied into the mind than we understand. They are associated with memories, feelings, and pleasure. Animals use them to hunt and to mark territory, it's very instinctive and primal. People are no different. Men associate a good perfume with femininity, and that’s what they find attracts them. That overwhelming impression of   womanliness is pressed on their minds. Rather than just smelling normal, set a fragrant landmark on his mind that pins you as sexy and seductive. Take advantage of all the edges you can get. 





Compliments should be used in how to get a man to love you. Men understand that in order to win a woman you need to compliment. But do you understand how the right compliment can affect a man? The right compliments can go just as far with men as they do with women. We’ve just been taught that women should receive compliments and men shouldn’t. Men don’t regularly receive compliments on their looks, their masculinity, and the way they dress. So it makes for a great opportunity to make an impression. If you see he’s stressed out, tell him how you bet he’s such a hard and excellent worker. Compliment his smile, tell him you love that in a man. Don’t just give one compliment give a few throughout your date. One compliment might not stand out, you want to make an impression. You’ll make him feel great about himself, and in return he’ll be more confident to be himself around you. It’ll also mark you in his mind as the girl who makes him feel good about himself in his run of the mill work week.  



Find reasons to be together 


Try and make excuses in order to spend time together. If you’re going out for lunch, recommend walking instead of driving somewhere, this will let you spend more time together and will probably lead to some good conversation. Look up a couple good jokes or stories about the news. This way you can make casual conversation without being too forward about your feelings for him. Make friends with his friends, that way you’ll get more opportunities to spend time together.  



Use ingenuity in your desire to win his heart. Try not to reveal too much about yourself; keep certain information back. This will cause him to become more inquisitive in actually knowing those things that you have not told him yet. 


These are just some of the ideas that you may find quite useful when you really want to win his heart. They have worked for some people in the past, so you should have no worry as to whether it will be of any good to you.  





couple hugging

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